. My Little Lily Bud: August 2011

Sunday, August 28, 2011

My wild ride to becoming a mother

Tuesday August 23rd, 5:26PM, Lily Isabella Skelton was brought into the world. I cannot believe it actually happened: that round belly I once had turned into a miniature version of her father, Joseph, and me. When I heard her cry I couldn't grasp that I had actually helped create her and that she was real. What a day that was.

It all began around 4:20AM that morning, the morning my midwife told me she was due. I had a dream that my mucus plug had finally loosened and that it was time to go to the hospital. I immediately awoke and thought to myself, "Oh good, it was just a dream!" Minutes later I felt a warm liquid start to run between my legs. Immediately I wiggled my large self out of bed. Well, I say immediately, but it took me a minute to actually get out of the bed. My awkward scootching woke Joseph up and he asked me what was wrong.

"I think my water broke, but I'm not sure. It's wet and watery." In the dark I'm scrounging around on the floor looking for a shirt to put on before I walk out to the bathroom.

He asked me if it was time, but I said I wasn't sure. I wasn't feeling any contractions and I didn't want to go to the hospital if it wasn't time yet. I told him to go back to sleep and I'd let him know if any came up. He said alright and told me to take a shower.

Not knowing what else to do, I went ahead and took a shower. Walked around a bit and started feeling light contractions. I got on the computer and started to look up hospital information that I couldn't find. The contractions started getting more frequent and stronger, and I started to think that the inevitable was finally here. I began to try to count contractions, but I really couldn't concentrate on it. I just knew that in between 5 and 5:20 I had either 7 or 8 gradually stronger contractions. It was probably time.

While I was on the computer trying to find the hospital number, MawMaw (who was sleeping on the couch in front of me) woke up and asked me if everything was okay. I told her the truth: I thought my water broke and was trying to find the hospital number. She then jumped up and started getting stuff together to go to the hospital. I was kind of frustrated because I didn't want to go immediately. I HATE hospitals, doctors, etc. and was really missing my midwife. I wanted to spend as little time in the hospital as possible.

I found the hospital number and they told me to come in immediately, that even if my water hadn't broken that the fluid needed to be checked.

Joseph walked in, asked if we were leaving. I said I wanted to wait. We then realized MawMaw had just called his mom and brother and was getting everyone round up to go right then.

Thing about it is this... Joseph and I had both opted to have a quiet birth with just the two of us there. We didn't really want anyone else with us at the hospital causing a commotion. I mean, eventually they could come, but at that time no.

So far, it was looking like a circus. I couldn't really care at that point, though, because I was dreading the hospital.

Before I continue, my birth plan looked something like this:

Natural waterbirth with the ability to eat, drink, and walk around during labor. No IV, use natural hydration only... etc. Basically, anything and everything I could possibly do to avoid needles and that kind of stress thanks to my phobia.

Midwives are pretty much illegal here in AL. I didn't have the same resources here as I did in SC, so hospital was my only option aside from home birth.

So we arrived at the hospital and I was taken to a delivery room. Pretty nice room for a hospital. It had a big window with curtains, ability to dim lights, a couch and other cushy chairs, a tv, and a nice feel to the area where it didn't really feel like you were in a hospital room. Except the bio-hazard signs, equipment, and hospital bed. Those were obvious.

I got into the bed and I was hooked up to monitors. Not necessarily what I wanted, but alright. I had that darn blood pressure wrap on my arm that continuously went off. Needless to say, I wasn't happy, but I couldn't really do much about it.

I got checked out and all. They said my water hadn't broken but I was dilated about a centimeter or two. I had just started labor. Crap. I was going to be in that hospital a loooong time.

The doctor told me I had the option of inducing the labor to increase the dilation so little Miss Lily could be there that day. I said I would think about it, though Joseph automatically said yes.

We talked about it, and when the nurse absolutely HAD to hook me up to an IV I agreed to induce. It sucked, but she said I had to have the IV. I wanted everything over with if that was the case.

At one point they had to take my blood. I was like NOOOOOOOO not again! I already went through all that! But because it could take days to get the results from my midwives they said they had to do it all over again. *Instant frustration with medicaid taking for-freaking-ever.* And the nurse had to draw blood TWICE because they didn't give her all the vials at once. I was MAD. RAAAWR!!

After a while the contractions began to get worse and worse and worse. I felt bad because I was being a real bitch to Joseph. I was screaming at him every time I felt a contraction coming on. I wanted him to be right there holding my hand through every wave. I was miserable. It didn't help that so far everything was NOT going according to plan, with the family there and the complete 180 turn around from my original birth plan. The nurse kept asking if I wanted an epidural and I was increasingly frustrated with it. I did NOT want it. Why? Mainly I was freaked out about the whole spine thing.

I was checked again. I was only dilated 4cm and I was about to kill Joseph for existing. I finally agreed to getting the goddamn epidural. I already was hooked up to a ton of other crap I didn't want in me, might as well go all the way. I kept thinking to myself, "This will all be a memory anyway, so just do it dammit."

I hated the process of getting the epidural. It was scary, and I was essentially hugging the nurse while the anesthetic dude hooked me up. Kept telling myself it was worth it, that it wouldn't affect Lily and that it would make me nicer to everyone.

It was worth it. I am glad I made the decision. I immediately chilled out and got drowsy. They hooked me up to oxygen and I got some sleep. It was cool. Couldn't feel anything down there, which was great when they started poking and prodding. The doctor broke my water and I was ecstatic that I couldn't feel a thing. No more contractions, no more weird probing. Just calm. Very good change from how the morning began.

So I relaxed and let the meds do their thing. I got poked and prodded more, but at this point I couldn't care. I was about to have a baby in my arms and all the nasty hospital stuff would be forgotten. Joseph was by my side through everything they would allow (except when they drew blood because I made him go eat lunch). It was going to be okay.

So I was chillin' out and Joseph told me he's going to use the bathroom. He closed the door and the nurse and doctor walk in. She checked me out, then she said that I had only dilated about 5 to 6cm and that Lily's blood pressure had dropped and it worried her and that she was going to use a vacuum to get her out within the next few minutes.

My expression: O.O

"Wait, now?!"

"Yes, hopefully she'll be here within the next fifteen minutes." As she said this the other delivery nurses were coming in and getting everything set up. I told her that Joseph was in the bathroom and to wait a few minutes.

We waited and waited and they were about to start so I yelled, "JOSEPH!!!" He came out of the bathroom and I told him she was coming. He was shocked, mainly because we were expecting her later that night. But he was excited and got right by my side while everything was set up.

While I didn't feel pain through the process, I felt weird sensations. I think the worst part about it was trying to hold my breath while I pushed. Joseph was there rooting me on and after a very short time I heard him say that I did it. She was here. Sure enough I heard her cry for the first time, looked up and saw a little pink baby! She was gorgeous!! I was expecting something not-too-flattering because of everything I had read, but she was flawless! To me, at least. Joseph cut the cord and he got the camera and started taking pictures.

I got stitched up and sat up and had a baby in my arms. She latched onto my nipple and ate. Nommy. For the next hour she was held by me. Joseph called the family and let everyone know she had been born. Everyone that had been there that morning had left and it was just me and Joseph at the hospital, just like we had planned. Even though things hadn't started the way we wanted, the end result was just as great.

August 23rd, 2011

5:26 PM

6lbs 9oz

19 1/2 inches

Monday, August 15, 2011

It's so sooooon!

I had a dream about Lily coming last night. I think she'll be here soon. I've pretty much rewashed EVERYTHING, whether it needed to be or not. All I need to finish up are the towels because the little fluff-balls Liono and Vulcan knocked them all off. That's okay, though. I got the few cloth diapers I have pre-washed and I have disposables until I can get more clothies :) I don't know if it would work, but I guess I can cut back on disposables if I wash my load of seven every day while she's wearing the plastic ones. I'll figure it out :)

I was tickling her little feet! In my dream. And in real life when she kicks and just leaves her foot there. Still dreading the actual act of childbirth, but it's gotta happen eventually I suppose. Can't keep her inside me forever.

The more I think about it the more I wonder if I really DO have everything. I wanted to co-sleep, but I think an addition to the bed would help before I did anything. So a cradle next to the bed is best I think. We're probably going to be sleeping on the air mattress anyway until we move so I suppose we'd wait until we had an actual bed anyway.

Still need some bottles, too. But I guess those can wait as well.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

What a summer

I woke up this morning to hear that my little five-year-old step-cousin-in-law (mouthful there) was rushed to the hospital for a dog bite to the throat. The doctors have said she is going to be fine, but they are having to fly her out to Birmingham now for surgery.

Lacey isn't the best with animals. When I say that, she loves messing with them, picking them up, poking them, and whatever we tell her NOT to do with them. She's never malicious, but some animals just can't be prodded constantly. I do not know what the story was at this point, but I have the feeling that Lacey was doing something she shouldn't have been doing with the dog.

I'm not saying that it is all Lacey's fault -- if the dog does not like being disturbed the owners should have kept the dog away from her or something. I don't know the whole story, though, so I won't go too much further into it.

Of course, now things get tricky. I do not know the breed, but I'm pretty sure the dog is now going to have to be put down. If not, I will be amazed. Our Lab, Fudge, accidentally sent a kid to the hospital (He was asleep, the kid jumped on him, scared my dog and he bit his face) and he was put down, so I am uncertain how this will work out. The little girl of the dog owners already dislikes Lacey, so now she will probably blame the death of her dog on Lacey.

I have mixed feelings about it all. I hate that a dog can be put down because of an accident or provocation of a really annoying, pestering child that doesn't listen to a word anyone says. I do also understand how scary it can be to know a dog is capable of doing any kind of damage like that and therefore needs to be either kept on a shorter leash (no pun intended) or put down to move on to another life. I know I would FLIP if my daughter was bitten, but at the same time, depending on the circumstance, I think I could forgive the dog if it was an accident/Lily did something dumb.

Of course, I'm a forgiving person anyway. I don't feel like death is always the answer in these circumstances.

/end rant.

Edit: So I now know that the dog was actually a pit bull, wasn't even really their dog but an in-law's dog, and no one really knows what happened for him to bit her. The dog is in quarantine now and will be put down shortly, if not by Animal Control by the owners. The dog was as big as Lacey.

So, long story short, I don't necessarily think it was Lacey's fault this time around. I love Pit Bulls, but they can be aggressive. Lacey is lucky. Scary thing now is that they don't know if the dog has had his shots...

Thursday, August 11, 2011

So I figure...

I might as well blog about what I'm going through if I'm going to be blogging again.

I'm at week 38 in my first pregnancy ever. To those that don't know, I'm carrying a girl and her name will be Lily Isabella Skelton. At least, unless we change our minds at the last minute, but I think it will stick :)

I'll admit, I'm a little bit nervous about giving birth. I've already opted on a natural birth, but I don't think I can have the same luxuries here in Alabama that I would have had in the birthing center in South Carolina. I'm really bummed, but it's alright I suppose. I'm a chicken when it comes to hospitals, so I was hoping that I could give birth anywhere BUT a hospital. Oh well... we'll have to see how it goes.

I should probably post pictures of my belly when I get the chance. It won't be there much longer ;)

I'm slacking in my artwork, though I have done a few things I'm proud of. I say I'm slacking because, although I've been drawing, I've been perfecting tiny things instead of making big large pieces. I've been preoccupied with preparing for Lily, anyway, so I guess it isn't too big of a deal. I've been working on... a tattoo design! Of a lily. Guess why? It should be obvious :P Sometime I plan on getting a lily tattoo to symbolize Lily on me. It'll be small and hidden, nothing major. Of course, it's all if I don't chicken out :P

In different news, Lucky had another litter. That's two in the time I've been pregnant with my one. Only three made it, but good lord I was surprised when she had five! She's so tiny!! But we found homes for two, and I really need to find a home for the third. Sadly, I am HOOKED on him. I don't know if I can give him up now :( Cute little Vulcan... But we don't need four cats! Heck, we don't really need any of them, but Lucky is well, lucky, and Tike reminds me of my late Apollo, and Grim is Joseph's... and Vulcan is a mini Grim but with big, adorable Lucky eyes. Argh! So confusing...

We'll figure it all out, though.

I think I'm planning on taking an entire year off of CC instead of the one semester. I really want Lily to breastfeed as long as possible and think that it would be easier to just take the year off instead of having to leave Lily behind after only a few months. We'll see what happens. I don't WANT to transfer, especially because I don't think I could afford it, but... we'll see.

Other than that, I think that's about it.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Getting Ready for Lily

I'm entering my 38th week today, so Lily could be here any time now. I've already seemed to outlast my mother in pregnancy -- My siblings and I were all at least four weeks early. I'm going to have a happy, healthy baby :)

I'm bummed about not being able to see my midwife and using Covenant Birth Center to give birth. Moving during pregnancy isn't fun, especially when natural birthing centers aren't too frequent in the state you move to =/

Buuut, I'm happy because I'm getting everything put together! :D I don't have any bottles yet, but she shouldn't need them immediately. I also need some more cloth diapers, but in the meantime I can be a partial-user. Finances are kind of tight right now, so I need to use what I can get :)